Topic
Diary Of An Avoidant
Diary of an Avoidant offers a deep dive into the avoidant attachment experience. Through personal stories, psychological insights, and real-life lessons, discover how avoidants think, love, and struggle with connection.
5 articles
Diary of an Avoidant — The Shame of Being Seen
I talk about love and connection on stage — yet I still hide when I’m afraid to fail. This is what avoidant shame looks like: not pushing people away, but waiting until success feels safe before letting them in.
The Illusion of Keeping My Options Open
When I was in my early 20s, I thought keeping my options open was the smartest way to live. I prided myself on it. Whenever friends invited me to a party, I’d say, Maybe, I’ll see how I feel later. I never committed, just in case something better came up or I changed my mind. I told myself I was being flexible, but in reality, I just hated the idea of being locked into a decision. Even when it came to my studies, I chose a master’s in science partly because it kept all my options open. It was
The Day I Realized I Had No Needs
For me, the essence of a successful relationship has always been straightforward: meet your partner’s needs. That was my golden rule. Relationships are complicated, sure, but if you can figure out what the other person needs and fulfill that, you’re good. That belief worked well in theory, and for the most part, in practice too. Until one day, my wife turned the tables on me. We were having one of those late-night, heart-to-heart conversations, the kind that meander from the trivial to the pro
Struggle with Vulnerability
I’ve always had a strange admiration for the bad guys in movies. The heroes? They felt too predictable, too… human. Their weaknesses almost always revolved around emotions: their love for the princess, their loyalty to their kids, their need to save someone. To me, emotions felt like a liability. But the villains? They were strong, independent, focused. They didn’t need anyone, and they certainly didn’t let their feelings get in the way. I’m not saying I condoned their actions, but there was som
Learning to Face Conflict
From as far back as I can remember, conflict has been my kryptonite. Growing up, I craved love and acceptance so much that the idea of upsetting someone, or worse, facing their disappointment, felt unbearable. If something didn’t go my way or if I felt cornered, I’d resort to avoidance tactics. My go-to strategy? Distraction. I’d disappear into a book, pretend to sleep, or find some other excuse to sidestep the tension. But avoidance didn’t really work. Most of the time, my sneaky maneuvers wou
