Author
Articles by Alexis
31 articles · Page 1 of 4
Why Avoidant Dynamics Hit Harder After 40, 50, 60+
If you handled breakups and emotional uncertainty relatively well in your 20s and 30s, yet now find yourself in your 40s, 50s or 60s feeling completely destabilised by an avoidant partner… nothing is wrong with you. Later-life attachment reactions are not signs of regression, weakness or immaturity. They are the predictable outcome of how attachment, the nervous system, identity and relational learning evolve across decades. When an avoidant dynamic appears later in life, it doesn’t just acti
AI Is Becoming Your New Attachment Style: Why ChatGPT Dependency After a Breakup Makes You More Anxious
Breakups are one of the fastest ways to destabilise your emotional life. Suddenly the person who once grounded you is gone, and every system in your brain starts looking for a substitute source of clarity and comfort. In 2025, more people are turning to ChatGPT for reflection, reassurance, and emotional support alongside friends, family, or therapy. It’s instant. It’s calm. It’s articulate. It never snaps at you. It never gets overwhelmed by your emotions. And for millions of people right now
Breakup Pain Isn’t About Your Attachment Style; It’s About How You Cope (New Study)
But a new longitudinal study published in Emerging Adulthood suggests that your attachment label is not the main thing driving how well you recover.
When Therapy Pushes Couples Further Apart
“I need to be alone right now.” I hear this phrase again and again; usually as a quote from someone’s partner or ex. And behind it, there’s often a familiar pattern: the person’s therapist encouraged them to take space. Sometimes, even to separate. At first glance, taking space can be good advice. It can reduce overwhelm and create stability. But if distance is already part of an avoidant cycle, using space without a plan for reconnection may sometimes reinforce withdrawal rather than resolve
The $5 Therapist: Is AI Finally Solving Therapy’s $300 Problem?
Why 20-somethings now trust ChatGPT with their love lives, and what the rest of us should learn from them. 1. A $400-an-Hour Pain Point Walk into any city practice and you’ll see the same equation: specialist relationship or attachment therapists now charge roughly £200 – £320 / $250 – $400 per 50-minute sessionand that’s before intake paperwork or assessments. For instance, Modern Intimacy lists $200 – $450 per couples session, while LA-based Align Therapy Group posts $250 for individual work
The Psychology of No Contact: Does It Really Work?
Breakups can feel like free-fall. One day, you’re intimately connected with someone; the next, you’re drifting apart with only unanswered questions to keep you company. It’s in these moments of heartache and confusion that many people turn to the “No Contact” rule. But does going off the grid, blocking numbers, ignoring texts, or avoiding social media updates, truly accelerate healing? Or is it just a way to play mind games? In this article, we’ll explore the psychology behind No Contact, how i
Deep Belly Breath, Deep Secure Bond
How diaphragmatic breathing supports the attachment work we do in the Love Lab 1 | Why this study matters A 2020 narrative review by Dr Hidetaka Hamasaki pulled together 10 systematic reviews and 15 randomised controlled trials on diaphragmatic (belly) breathing. The paper concluded that this slow-and-deep style of breathing is linked to improvements in respiratory capacity, cardiovascular fitness, stress, anxiety, migraine, functional gut issues and even quality-of-life scores in cancer care
Why You Pull Away When Things Get Close: Understanding Engulfment from the Avoidant Perspective
Introduction: "Why Can't I Just Stay Present in Love?" Have you ever felt the urge to retreat just as a relationship starts to deepen? Like you're suffocating under expectations, emotions, or someone else's needs, even if you like them? If you're nodding, you're not alone. This feeling has a name: engulfment. And for those with avoidant attachment styles, it's not just a preference for independence. It can feel like emotional survival. This article breaks down what engulfment is, how it shows
How Secure Attachment Priming Can Help You Heal From Avoidant Breakups
“You don’t need closure from them. You need safety within you.” If you’ve ever been stuck in the emotional aftermath of a relationship, especially one involving an avoidant partner. You know the pain isn’t just about what happened. It’s about what it activated in you. The ache. The anxiety. The constant wondering, “Why wasn’t I enough?” But what if you could soothe that anxiety, not by chasing answers from someone who’s pulled away, but by activating safety within your own nervous system? Th
Are You Anxiously Attached Because of Your Genes?
"Is it your childhood... or your chromosomes? The truth is: it's both—and the science is fascinating." Attachment styles shape the way we love, communicate, and even break up. If you tend to overthink texts, crave closeness, or spiral after someone pulls away, you might have what's called an anxious attachment style. But here's a twist: it's not just about your upbringing. Science shows your genes may be playing a bigger role than you'd expect. Why Attachment Style Feels So "Hard-Wired" Atta
